The state of RAW and Smackdown! 8th/9th May 2017

Jesus wept.

I'm not a religious man, which is just as well as the WWE currently might be mistaken for some kind of Earthly hell. Perhaps it's just in purgatory itself. I haven't watched the product regularly in years, I just check in on it now and again to see if anything interesting is happening. So like I was saying I haven't watched the product regularly in years....

But I was prompted to do so after reading reviews of RAW and Smackdown that painted it as being at an all time low, accompanied by all time low ratings. It's a bit like people staring at a car crash as they pass; you just can't believe the terrible thing that has happened even though it's right there in front of your eyes. This is the state of the modern WWE. I've watched the last couple of weeks since Wrestlemania with morbid curiosity as to how a wrestling show can be booked and presented this poorly and now I've finally cracked. I have to write about it if for no other reason than to expel this garbage from my brain and onto the screen. I may continue to do so based on nothing more than the desire to see just how bad this can get (both the show and the blog).

So where do we begin? I guess before we start I should lay out my stall. I've been watching wrestling for over 25 years and I have a deep interest in the business. I should perhaps emphasise business, as I'm much more interested in the concept of wrestling as a money making venture and the skills and knowledge that go into this. I'd much rather listen to someone talking about the production side of the business in the old days than listen to road stories, though these can be fun.

I'm not a "hardcore" fan in my own estimation. In the case of literal hardcore wrestling, I personally thought ECW was garbage. It just didn't push my buttons. I'm not a fan of ROH and don't watch their product. Nor do I follow any of the myriad of independent promotions across the world. I really don't care about what's happening in Japan. The reason for this is because I'm just not a fan of wrestling without any substance to it. I've no interest in spending half an hour watching two people I don't really know exchanging shoddy working forearms, selectively no selling each others offense and then trying to drop each other on their heads in pursuit of the elusive 5 star match award from someone like Dave Meltzer.

I was brought up on wrestling that was often variable in quality, but when it was good it was very good. The work was tight, people didn't get up from a DDT and immediately start doing backflips off the top rope and they treated it like a fight and not an acrobatics display. Guys didn't stand around outside the ring holding their arms out waiting to catch an opponent diving towards them, though arm drags were always as hokey looking back then as they are now. It was certainly less of a chore to explain wrestling to someone and definitely much less of a chore to get them interested in it.

I don't care about a wrestlers work rate. It means nothing to me. I don't care whether a wrestler has spent the last 10 years on the indy scene or not. I don't care if such and such person had a 5 star match with some other person at some Japanese event back in 2010. These things mean nothing to me. I just want to be entertained, here and now, by whatever means you have available. For this reason I fall into a very weird and select niche of being someone who is "in to wrestling" but not as much as the die hard fans and with the perspective of what is in effect a casual fan, and all that that tremendously misleading term implies.

With that out of the way let's take a look at Monday night RAW for May 8th.

First off, why would a wrestler be put in charge of a show? The conflict of interest in having one of the active roster in charge of booking matches surely makes it a non-starter? This might seem like a minor point, but I bring it up only because it highlights WWE's complete lack of any kind of logic to its booking. Presuming William Regal came across for the tour he could have been a decent candidate. Maybe even Shane McMahon taking over for one night only? It's the kind of booking that just makes WWE seem odd, like a joke the audience isn't in on.

That GM for the night is Dean Ambrose and while I like some of Ambrose's humour, mainly because I have an appreciation for good dad jokes, I can see why it doesn't get over with more people. It would help if it wasn't delivered by a guy who looks and sounds like a drunken hobo. Having made his entrance and started laying down the rules, he's interrupted by The Miz, because why not start every show with an extended talking segment? At least The Miz has a gimmick with some interest and an understanding of how to work the crowd on the mic.

But here is my first production gripe. Having gone to the no doubt immense expense of investing in a digital stage why not have a visual red carpet for The Miz to walk down, complete with flashbulb effects to the side? His gimmick is he's supposed to be this delusional wannabe Hollywood star and this just seems like the perfect fit. It would certainly beat the sort of weird and meaningless transformers-esque logo that appears beneath him currently.

Ambrose explains that he's booked Miz in the first match of the night and Miz reveals that he's been appointed co-GM, to which the obvious question then comes as to why he didn't just on the spot cancel his own match, or shift it to the main event? Immediately the logical wall is beginning to crumble, making the show writing look ridiculous from the outset.

Out comes Braun Strowman so we can have some more talking. There's really no reason for him to be out there other than so someone can book him in a match, which is precisely what happens when Kalisto appears in order to sign his own death warrant. Apparently now in WWE logic you can just book an injured party in a match against their own will. Also in WWE logic, big monsters hide behind said injuries in order to avoid fighting little guys. It's not that big of a leap I guess, but it does seem weird to have someone like Strowman trying to back out of a fight with Kalisto.

After the break we get Miz vs Finn Balor. Finn is hilariously indy-rrific to me and seems to have all the personality of a dead snail. A dead snail could also probably have got to the ring and started the match faster. I'm always impressed to see that people think that guys who couldn't really draw on the indy scene will now suddenly become major stars in the WWE within a short period. I don't see the appeal myself.

The match ends with a terrible looking spot as Miz kind of swipes at Finn, who then realises this is the finish and sort of stumbles into the ref. The Miz rolls out of the ring and calls for the ref to DQ Finn, which might just have saved this whole wrestlers as co-GM angle. It would have been a clever finish and garnered Miz some decent heat to help build towards his PPV match for the Intercontinental title against Ambrose.

But this is WWE, where nobody is allowed to generate any kind of worthwhile heat or get themselves over to any extent, even with the express permission of WWE. As such Miz is chucked back into the match by Ambrose so he can be pinned, killing the entire angle dead on the spot. Which is basically the summary of Miz's run on RAW so far. He's not been allowed to do anything interesting, he gets beaten up every week and he poses as much threat storyline wise to Ambrose as a slightly undercooked bowl of pasta

Which is probably while he'll win the match at the PPV. This is an old trick that WWE started using many moons ago for no apparent reason other than so they could call it a swerve or an unexpected result. But the reason it's unexpected is because storyline wise it makes no sense. If Miz is no threat to Ambrose then any win will just look cheap. WWE also seems to have forgotten that the art of promotion is in building things up, hyping shows and their participants as the next must see event. Right now there is no reason to be interested in any way, shape or form in this match.

I like Miz from a business perspective. He can talk, he's experienced and I think he does a decent job of getting under peoples skins. He would make an excellent IC champion, perhaps with an extended reign, but only if WWE can give him some kind of credibility. He doesn't have to be super powerful and start buzz sawing his way through the roster, but he at least needs to look less rubbish in the ring than he's currently being portrayed.

Backstage we see Alexa Bliss, who right now is probably one of the best talents on the entire roster, make or female. A little shakey at times in the ring, but the undisputed queen of the microphone who peers down at her subjects - male and female alike - with a look that says "you guys have been doing this how long? And hardly any of you can talk still?". She has a weird interaction with Nia Jax before heading out for her match and all I can think of is how much money Alexa could make as a Rock-type babyface, tearing apart interviewers and opponents alike with searing backstage interviews before hitting the ring as 5 feet of fury.

In the ring she fights Mickie James, a great in-ring talent who gets the same reaction from the audience as a new jumper from Grandma gets at Christmas. Bliss was actually pretty good in this one, focusing on one arm in a streak of psychology rarely seen in modern day WWE. Accompanying James is Bayley, who for the life of me I can't think why she gets a decent reaction from the crowd. She's about as bland and uninteresting as a babyface can be and she looks phenomenally out of her depth.

Ok match, odd looking ending, then Bayley chases Bliss off, leaving Mickie James at the mercy of Nia Jax. It's at times like this that I really miss a good heel commentator on a par with Jesse Ventura. It's occurred to me over the last week or so that such a commentator would have a field day ripping into Bayley over her actions. Pre-PPV RAW she attacked Bliss on the ramp, on a night when she herself didn't have a match. A heel commentator worth his or her salt would have ruined Bayley for this.

Then here, not only does Bayley attack someone after their match, she also abandons her friend who she supposedly came out to protect and leaves her to the wolves while she goes off pursuing her own personal vendetta. Ventura or Heenan would have eaten this for breakfast without skipping a beat. And honestly when I look at Bayley she strikes me as a much better candidate to be a kind of bitchy, two faced brat kid of a heel. Like Charlotte Flair, but more OTT and with a bit more conviction.

More arsing about backstage with Miz and Ambrose, where Miz doesn't exercise his power as co-GM, continuing to make himself look weak. It also shows how fantastically out of touch the WWE is when Miz proclaims that he had a member of One Direction lined up for an interview, as if pre-teen girls are the core WWE audience. Miz proceeds to book Ambrose in a match with Bray Wyatt, which begs the question as to why Miz didn't just book Ambrose in a massive handicap match, which at least might have given Ambrose a chance to get over in a losing effort and solidified Miz's position as a strong and clever heel. But no, let's not. Let's book one of our babyfaces in a match against another guy who is also a de facto babyface.

Samoa Joe is interviewed backstage, proving why dull indy guys will always struggle to appeal to a wider audience, at which point he gets jumped from behind by Seth Rollins, who still seems to think he's a heel. They have a typical boring, hokey looking backstage "fight" in which nobody really gains anything with the audience and then they get separated, adding precisely fuck all of value to the show.

Back to the ring and Strowman is whining like a girl, then fakes out Kalisto. Enter Roman Reigns for a punch up and while we're here we might as well go over the whole Reigns getting booed saga.

I actually used to watch FCW on YouTube many moons ago, back when WWE had a proper, functional developmental system that wasn't just a cancerous HHH ego trip and a limbo for old indy wrestlers being used to help get NXT over with the smart fans. It was at least interesting compared to WWE mainstream programming and remains one of the better booked and produced wrestling shows in years, featuring the likes of Damien Sandow, Leo Kruger (aka Adam Rose, back when he had a decent gimmick) and yes, Leakee, aka Roman Reigns.

Reigns is something of an enigma. A legitimate college athlete like his first cousin once removed The Rock, he played defensive line for the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets and actually put up some decent seasons, finishing the 2006 season with 12 sacks (despite being English, I'm actually a massive American Football fan, as you can see on my other blog which inspired the name of this one). He actually had try outs with NFL teams and played a season in the Canadian league.

This makes it all the more odd that someone with these traits would be so restricted in what he's allowed to do in the ring athletics wise. If you go back and watch his match as Leakee against Leo Kruger you can see he's actually a pretty good in-ring talent, infinitely more so than the performances we see today (and you also get a look at just how good Kruger was back then, before he was converted to the ill-fated Adam Rose gimmick. They had a very well booked, very well executed match. You'll just have to tolerate the William Regal/Byron Saxton commentary combo).

Further more, why would you take someone with his kind of look, that of a legitimate athlete/superstar and dress him like a minimum wage mall security guard? It's beyond baffling to me, a question that could only be answered with the letters W-W-E. It's almost like WWE is caught in some kind of weird paradox where they desperately want to get Reigns over as their top guy, yet will stop at nothing to cut his legs out from under him at every turn. And seriously, for fucks sake someone please pull him to one side and show him footage of the whole arm rubbing thing and make the point that it looks incredibly dumb, like he's try to jack off his own wrist, and that a simple cocking motion (like he was pumping a shotgun) would be significantly more visually effective as well as being significantly less ridiculous to watch.

So why then do people boo him? The same reason they boo anyone who can barely cut a promo without the audience falling asleep, whose ring work seems to have actually gone backwards since he was a rookie and who is being pushed to the moon by WWE despite the fans not seeing the guy in that role, especially when they feel there are more deserving talents around. Oh and then there's the small matter of toying with the audio and video packages to deny that anything is up with the audience*. If John Cena has taught us anything it's that the WWE will always face an uphill struggle when it tries to anoint someone against the fans wishes and keeps pushing back against the enusing fan backlash with the attitude of "it's our show and we're right and you'll like it". 

*It still amazes me today how many people will deny that any live mixing takes place, or that it's even possible, despite the fact that live audio mixing has been a thing for many, many years now and WWE has been doing it pretty much since the dawn of Monday night RAW.

The potential for a heel turn is obvious and it might actually echo the path once taken by a certain Rocky Maivia. I get the impression Reigns could pull it off, not on The Rock's level, but certainly as a cocky heel who gets under the fans skin talking about how he beat the Undertaker and how he's the chosen one of the executive. Perhaps even an alignment with HHH and Steph, maybe with Gallows and Anderson as his stooges could work, pitted against someone like Seth Rollins who used to be the corporate stooge. Except in this came Reigns would in effect be HHH & Steph's "fixer", taking down people that get in their way and garnering as much heat as possible from beating a variety of indy darlings. Maybe even steal some of The Rock's finishing moves and set up a potential match for Wrestlemania?

It might work, it might not. It would at least give Roman a bit of room to breathe where he wouldn't have the weight of expectation on his shoulders. He could develop himself a little more especially on the microphone and he would still sell merchandise by the bucket loads, perhaps to some of the adults as well as the kids. Then just gradually let the fans turn him back when they're ready. Milk it for all it's worth and then flip him down the road when (if) he reaches the hottest point.

Back to RAW though and Roman comes out to make the save for Kalisto. He then proceeds to let rip on Strowman, getting Kalisto disqualified and really not behaving much like a babyface, but not really a heel either if that makes sense. He kind of trod the line between the two and thus didn't really help his cause either way, though the segment did lead to an entertaining spot where Reigns ate a massive boot from Strowman.

So how do we follow this up? Why with Goldust and R-Truth of course! Just what the casual and die hard audiences alike want to see! Why are jobbers being given TV time for a backstage segment when actual tag teams can't get the same? Why does WWE refuse to give its best talkers more backstage interview time instead of constantly having them come to the ring? How's WWE still in business? All questions to which nobody seems to know the real answer.

Back from commercial and it's tag team turmoil time. Yay!! (said no-one). Enzo and Cass come out first to trigger one of my pet hates and that's Enzo saying "how you doin'?" without adding the name of the city on the end. It just seems like such a logical thing to do, to add "London" or "Cleveland" or wherever on the end, that I instinctively just expect him to say it, even though I know he won't. Also, I get that there are time constraints, but this is a three hour show for God's sake, can they not just get into the ring first before starting their schtick? Maybe some time could have been cut from Finn's entrance to make way?

On second thoughts, the schtick is getting a bit, well, shit. I've only heard it like three or four times and already I'm kinda just waiting for it to be over. Enzo definitely needs a new writer though. I'm tempted to say that when they first appeared on the scene they were allowed to write their own stuff, but I swear that stuff he put out Monday in London sounded like it had been written by the WWE writers. It was bad enough that it almost sounded like a John Cena poopy joke.

Of course this is WWE though, so naturally the most over tag team of the four involved, the one that sells the most merch etc is also the one that gets beat first by Cesaro and Sheamus. Why it couldn't have been Goldust and R-Truth first or Slater and Rhyno, which would have made the most sense, only WWE knows. Would have been fun to see eventually Gallows and Anderson go down, get beat, then have Enzo and Cass meet them on the stage where they could do their whole S-A-W-F-T bit and start a brawl. This in turn gives the commentators something to work with in terms of letting them play up the breather that Cesaro and Sheamus would get while the brawl took place.

As it was the whole thing was largely forgettable. If Enzo is ever gonna work as a gimmick he needs to not just be the Ricky Morton of the team who constantly gets beat up, showing his toughness etc. Sometimes he needs to be the hot tag who comes in like an absolute house on fire. He's bonkers enough that it would probably be more fun to watch than having him tag in Cass to do his big man routine. And frankly the two could do with some wins under their belt. Right now they look weak and that's not helping them one iota. People believe the inevitable tag break up is on the cards and that might be the case, but I'm not sure either guy is really ready to stand on his own merits just yet as a singles competitor.

I also feel sorry for Cesaro oddly enough. I'm not the biggest Cesaro fan because I think his selling is a bit weak, but he is an interesting guy to watch in the ring and has a personality of sorts that could be tapped, probably as a more ruthless (not necessarily heel) gimmick. One that is very confident in what he can do and without all the comedy elements they seem determined to endlessly chuck at him. I feel sorry for him because he's stuck with the charisma vacuum that is Sheamus. Sheamus works hard and seems to love what he does, but to me he's not really a particularly interesting character and Cesaro doesn't gain much by being stuffed in a short term team with him.

After all that we get to the bit that the whole match was built around, that being the moment where the Hardys come out to confront Cesaro and Sheamus. I just hope WWE isn't planning to take the belts off the Hardys so soon. They probably will only get one hot run now at their age and they might as well carry the belts for a while. Unless WWE plans to use the belt drop as the chance to trigger the Broken Matt gimmick, or at least that much of it that they can save from the copyright lawyers.

I have mixed feelings about that to be honest. I've watched the whole final deletion thing to see what all the fuss was about and frankly I thought it was a bit shit. The gimmick seems to have its moments, but really it does seem like it would need a lot of work to appeal to a broader audience. I think it's a bit of a die hard wrestling fan thing at the minute. Maybe I just don't get it. I appreciate it's something different, but it comes across as a poor attempt at slapstick to me. We'll see. They still have that awesome entrance music at least**.

**I could just go back and delete [Pun not intended. Unfortunately. Should have claimed it] this section and you'd never know thanks to the magic of editing. But even more magic, especially in wrestling, is when something clicks. So I decided to give the whole angle another chance and went off to watch something beyond just the final deletion. What I came across was their Expedition (Expedeetion?) for Gold. And it was... well, gold!

That made a lot more sense and the beauty of the angle was that just watching a few videos basically brought me up to speed on all the important elements of it. It was great and the production process made it even better with the cutaways to guys like Konnan talking about making fake merchandise etc. If WWE could tap this with a combination of in-ring stuff, interviews, classic backstage segments and also the more highly edited pre-recorded skits like these, then this is an absolute fucking ratings and merchandise gold mine waiting to happen.

Going back and watching the fan reactions to their Wrestlemania entrance was amazing. They've been away for how long and yet they've returned as potentially one of the most over acts in WWE right now. Looking into the future the whole Broken gimmick has such massive potential if they can legally use it and don't drop the ball with it.

Everything from carrying the titles to Survivor Series (or maybe dropping and reclaiming them before that event) so that they can "delete" one set of tag belts in a champions vs champions match (guess what my opinion is on the whole brand split...), to perhaps picking someone random from the roster like Curtis Axel and hailing them as one of the seven deities. Perhaps they try to delete the man of three Hs himself, as well as the daughter of Meek Mahan? Maybe an interview in the ring with some authority figure who poses pertinent questions to them like; "How did you cheat the mandatory drug testing? And how many other people have you taught to do it?".

They could beat various people whose careers and gimmicks have kind of stalled, deleting them and giving them a chance to go off and come back as something fresh. It would be an interesting dynamic to have the Hardys rolling through the roster's literal lost/forgotten talents and helping them to reinvent themselves (not in a stable with the Hardys, just they disappear off telly for a bit then come back with a new twist). The options are incredibly varied depending on where WWE wants to go.

Of course ultimately it could all lead to a singles push for Jeff. I feel sorry for Matt because he's always kind of been over shadowed by his younger brother, but the reality is that while Matt might be the brains of the pair, Jeff has the greater athletic ability and charisma. Watching the Expedeetion for Gold series it was obvious that Jeff was pulling off the gimmick better than his brother and that he really carried some of the segments with his personality and expressions. He just seems to be more into it than Matt, like Matt is holding back while Jeff just dives right in. Might just be the classic case of Jeff having the superior charisma to pull it off.

Either way, you can see the potential for someone like Jeff to go on to Summerslam if they wanted and "delete" Brock Lesnar for the world title, or "delete" the Reign of Roman Reigns. Jeff is a star and pretty much always has been. This gimmick elevates him and Matt to a whole new level. The gimmick I think still does need some tweaking to broaden its appeal, for example I think they don't actually do the whole delete stuff enough (it's the crowds main connection with the gimmick). Overall though I think they're on to a winner and for the first time in a long time we have a tag team that can potentially carry a show as the main draw, the main thing that people tune in to watch. Paint me a convert and a believer in Matt's broken brilliance.

Next up was Rollins vs Joe, because why would you wait until the next PPV to have a re-match from the last one? Fuck it, just chuck that same match out again on RAW. I guess this is what happens when you give away PPVs for free. I honestly checked out for this match because I have zero interest in Samoa Joe and only a fraction of an interest in Rollins these days, who is probably the least convincing "mom and apple pie" babyface I've seen in a long time. Why is the mighty kingslayer now coming out each week and pandering to the fans? It makes no sense.

I've mentioned FCW before already and if you go back and watch Rollins there he was outstanding. He had just the right blend of brawling, toughness, speed, agility and technique on display, helped by the fact that FCW matches were much, much better produced in terms of the in-ring style and the psychology than the current WWE product is. People like Rollins absolutely thrived in that environment that seemed to combine just the right amount of production with the freedom of talents to show off what they could do. He also didn't have to wear a ring attire that made him look like someone had cut off the top half of his wetsuit.

Next a 205 live match. Why the ring ropes have to be taped just for this is I have no idea. For a company that is allegedly so concerned about the look and feel of their shows you'd think they'd spend less time worrying about the colour of the ring ropes and spend more time trying to solve the issue of the appalling, metallic noise their ring makes. My understanding is that this is caused by them draping rubber mats over the metal cross beams which eliminates that beautiful, crunchy wooden noise that adds so much to the feel of each punch and slam, and instead leaves only the sound of the metal frame rattling, which to me makes the ring sound cheap. Supposedly the ring was too loud in the past, but apparently the sound of wrestlers talking in the ring and making those annoying hissing noises is preferable?

Next up was Jack Gallagher, doomed to lose in front of his "hometown" crowd (he's from Manchester, which is 200 fucking miles from London, but I get the point) vs TJP. I actually kind of like TJP, in the sense that he has irritating theme music and a face that is about as punchable as they come. I can see his value as a heel is what I'm saying. Gallagher is a bit blah, though he would probably work in a tag team where you could mask some of his weaknesses and emphasise his strengths such as his agility. I do love the idea though that WWE is trying to resurrect the idea of a cruiserweight/light heavyweight division, something that I don't think has ever worked in the long term in the history of wrestling in America, and apparently is not going down well on the WWE Network.

I'll never understand the obsession of having a separate division for smaller wrestlers. If I can go back to the whole Leakee in FCW thing for a minute, he actually had a decent match with Ricardo Rodriguez, pitting speed vs power. It's not that hard to do and I think is a better use of the lighter guys. Is Neville or Aries ever going to be World Champion? Maybe not, but they might be a US champion or IC champion for a bit, and if handled correctly can easily put on a show where they whirlwind around a guy like Strowman. It just takes a bit of imagination to put such a match together.

Oh, speaking of imagination, Ambrose vs Miz is set for next week on RAW, presumably in response to what must have been horrifying minute by minute ratings figures for this weeks episode. Whether that match will actually make it to the finish and/or just be repeated at the next PPV is up for debate, but the sooner Miz is done with Ambrose the better.

Next up was Sasha Banks vs Alicia Fox, as someone thought trying to tap into their feisty brawl from the week before would be money. Having it play out again for a total of about ten seconds, and not on PPV, seems like a major mistake. Organic feuds like this are the stuff that booking dreams are (or should be) made of. Backstage interviews, video packages, slowly building up the idea of just a straight fight based on nothing more than animosity. Instead pissed away in a nothing match on RAW.

Whether the ending was botched or intentional, it does give the feud a second chance, but don't count on WWE to make the most of it. Fox seems a lot more talented than I remember her and if there is anything women's wrestling has needed a bad injection of over the years it's actual in-ring talent, with the ability to wrestle a reasonably tight match that isn't full of diva slapping etc. I know people thought Paige and A.J. Lee were the hottest thing since sliced bread, but from what I saw of them they really weren't all that in the ring.

Finally, thank god, was Bray Wyatt vs Ambrose. Poor Bray Wyatt. The guy clearly has all the makings of a top star, yet he's booked so poorly that you just have to feel sorry for him. Final production side irritation of the night comes when the camera begins to pan around behind Bray during his entrance. Just when you think you're about to get a money shot of the camera sweeping 360 degrees around him showing an arena full of "fireflys" shining back at him it instead cuts away, leaving me disappointed and wondering whether it's just because they don't want to show the side opposite the hard camera?

I'm disappointed in general with how Bray has turned out. When he first went up I was thinking he would come in as a kind of creepy cult leader, with a sort of Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Waco Siege/Jonestown vibe about him, but with a little less of the whole murder-suicide edge. Instead I tune in now to find he's some kind of hillbilly wizard who sounds like he has a severe case of cabin fever. What a let down. It also makes me laugh that Bray is being booked as a heel when the crowd clearly loves the guy and his entrance.

In-ring he's something special as well. He doesn't flip and flop about like some, but he has a methodical and distinct approach that I enjoy. Heaven forbid he actually looks like he's trying to hurt his opponent, to beat them up in order to win a wrestling match, rather than being partners in some kind of Latin/American-Smooth hybrid dance. It's entirely refreshing to watch. I love as well the way he kneeled on Ambrose's chest at one point for a pin. Visually it just looked great.

So why is Bray not being booked as a top babyface gunning for the world title, with a slight tweak of the character where the fans become his followers and he talks a little less like a crazy person? Probably because the world title isn't even on the show, being around the waist of Brock Lesnar. I cannot stand it when WWE does this. Part-time champions have so far proven to be a massive failure and the ratings would suggest this case is no different. I'm not even sure as Lesnar is really a draw in the wrestling world at this point, as I don't think fans transition across that well from the MMA world to pro wrestling, the former not being huge fans of the latter.

And honestly, the whole suplex city thing is a bit boring. Brock is a tremendous athlete, has been for a long time, and brings a legitimacy that nobody in WWE can really match. Which is precisely why you want to keep him away from your roster. The last thing you want is to put someone like Lesnar in the ring with someone like Reigns, showing fans just how far the gap is between the two. I'm not sure what WWE thinks it really gains by putting a legitimate fighter in the ring to mercilessly beat the piss out of its "Sports Entertainers", but from where I'm sitting it's not good business. It just reminds me of the Brawl For All concept and how much damage that did to the wrestling business as a whole, especially when they put Bart Gunn in the ring with Butterbean.

On top of that your top title is off the telly and nobody is really feuding for it. Granted Strowman has made noises about it, but it's not the same as having the man standing there, belt over his shoulder or around his waist, having matches on at least a semi-regular basis to help build up feuds over time. It's not that part-timers have no place in wrestling, I just don't think they should be positioned as the champion, except in rare cases.

Mercifully Bray Wyatt picked up the win, though only after Miz cheap shotted Ambrose, because no heel can ever win on their own merits in the pro wrestling world. It sucks that the Intercontinental Champion is losing on TV. Champions are supposed to be good at what they do, hence the belt around their waist. But I can let this one slip on account of it permitting a Wyatt victory which I think is more important in the long run. After the match Miz trash talked a downed Ambrose in perfect fashion and RAW finally ended.

Thankfully Smackdown is only two hours long so should be an easier review. At this point it is worth mentioning that unlike some I don't see a three hour RAW as a problem just because it's three hours long. Two would be better, but I can sit and watch an NFL or college game that will stretch out sometimes well over three hours. If it's properly booked, entertaining TV with some obvious toilet break segments (which is often some of the less interesting matches) then it shouldn't be that hard to watch. WWE makes it hard through the poor quality.

So then, Smackdown live. Christ on a bike...

The first thing we need to get out of the way is how much I despise the brand split. Back when WWE absorbed ECW and WCW in quick succession it made sense due to the size of the roster. If they were to pull up some more of their NXT talents it might work again. But overall all it does is severely limit the booking options. Considering the WWE has become synonymous in the last few years with tired, retreaded feuds and the same matches endlessly being recycled it makes absolutely no sense to limit the booking potential in this manner.

It especially kills WWE's ability to use a tried and true writing tool for serialised programs of shifting the main attention of the show from week to week. Instead of being able to put say Miz and Ambrose front and centre for both RAW and Smackdown one week, then perhaps Styles and Owens on both shows the next week, we instead get the same characters slogging away against each other on what seems like a seeming endless series of monday/tuesday night repeats.

How did this one start? With the same old shit and the same old faces once again. I'm not sure WWE is even aware at this stage that you can start a show with something other than an in-ring promo. Like a match perhaps. Or a backstage segment. Just something that might spice things up a little. They also seem to have not realised either a) how boring Randy Orton is on the microphone or b) that there's only so many times you can have a succession of talent coming out to interrupt each other before it gets old.

Orton says that where he's from you have to win a match to become a champion, which is exactly what he's gonna do at Backlash, apparently having forgotten about the title belt that he brought to the ring with him. Then out comes Jinder Mahal. I remember Mahal as a pure job guy, so seeing him now as the number one contender for a world title is just surreal and I can't really get over it. It makes no sense to me. If they wanted to capture the Indian audience then is a Canadian fella really the best option? Or is this classic WWE "he looks Indian, they'll never be able to tell the difference" type booking?

And if you do decide that you want to push a glorified jobber just to try and flog your network in India, why not let him win something like the US title and take that there on a media blitz? Surely if WWE truly believes its fans are that dumb that they'll just accept Jinder as an Indian hero then they might as well send him over with a belt that has a massive US flag on it so he can talk about conquering America or some shit?

Whatever, Jinder was boring and was thankfully interrupted by Kevin Owens. I must say I wasn't a fan of Kevin Owens based on what I'd seen of him pre-WWE. I remember seeing some clip from a match where he was delivering shoulder shots in the corner while looking at the camera and saying "hi mom" etc. It put me off at the time and made me write off Owens as another classic indy darling with a limited future. Looking at Owens now though my opinion has changed.

I still think he could do with some more time in the gym. His gimmick wouldn't be hurt in the slightest by losing a few pounds and getting some muscle definition in his arms. He can get away with it though by being such a good talker on the microphone. I watched the superstar shake up edition of Smackdown where Owens came out to massive cheers from the post-wrestlemania smart fans who were delighted to see him and yet within minutes he had legitimately turned that audience against himself. That's a money skill right there.

Owens cuts a good promo, then gets interrupted by A.J. Styles, who is somehow claiming that Smackdown is the house that he built? Really? I'd love to see The Rock come out one day to interrupt him and emphasise that he's returning to The Rock's show. Anyway, I haven't seen much of Styles over the years and I don't really know that much about him to be honest other than the fact that his promos used to be horrendous, he's a great athlete and everyone seems to think he's the greatest wrestler alive. 

The fact that TNA was basically built around him at one point and was a small time promotion back then (and is now nearly bankrupt) and the fact that he's headlining Smackdown during one of the worst periods for ratings in its history would suggest that maybe Styles isn't quite the wrestling icon die hards seem to think he is. Like Rollins he's currently suffering from a bout of the wetsuit bottoms look and could probably use a hair cut of some form as well. At least he seems a lot more confident and coherent on the microphone now which is great and the live crowd at least seems to be into him.

But then he gets interrupted by Baron Corbin, who begins to talk before he gets interrupted by Sami Zayn. Keeping up with all this shit yet? Big brawl and then we get a six-man tag later between them all. Is Teddy Long back for the night? Christ I hope not. Then we come back from commercials to find the entire women's Smackdown division basically introducing each other in succession. Apparently this week WWE is hot on the "but wait, there's more" form of storytelling. Never mind suplex city, this week has been interruption city. The highlight was Charlotte Flair introducing herself by saying she didn't need an introduction... what?

Becky Lynch vs Natalya is the match. Natalya seems to have turned her back on the whole Hart family gimmick since I last saw her and now, well, she's just a bland heel. Becky by comparison is young, gorgeous, charismatic, pretty talented and legitimately pretty strong from what I've dug up of her lifting on YouTube. Basically she looks like she should by the cornerstone of the Smackdown women's division, but apparently Kevin Dunne doesn't like her accent so they kind of shunt her around and use her as a bit part, which is a bit like leaving your Ferrari in the garage all year because you don't like the way the seats squeak as opposed to just getting them fixed.

The ending of the match was garbage, as was the brawl afterwards. Natalya's nascent stable "The Welcoming Committee" is surely destined to die a quick and not nearly painful enough death. The most entertaining person in it isn't even allowed to wrestle in the women's division and the name is more insipid than inspired. Follow this with a Lana vignette where she does some hilariously awkward looking dancing from a chair, which would suggest an attempt to hide a lack of actual dancing ability and the women's division is looking in trouble on the blue brand.

I'd just love to know whose ideas these are. Who decided that what Lana really needed when she stepped into the ring was to dump her stern and calculating manner to become a smiling ballroom dancer? I mean, just, what the fuck? Why? And people wonder why WWE is at such an all time low. Of course it's basketball's fault apparently. Yeah, sure...

Backstage after the break Charlotte continues to demonstrate her own lack of logic and attention span as Naomi basically says she'll rip Charlotte's hair off, to which Charlotte responds with "ohhh what are you gonna do, glow on me?". Well no love, she just told you a few seconds ago she's gonna rip your hair off, fucking pay attention. I really don't understand the deal with Charlotte. Aside from being the daughter of Ric Flair she doesn't have much going for her. Her in-ring abilities have been grossly over stated and she has the charisma of a slightly mouldy orange. Take away the name and she doesn't really have much left for a casual audience.

Becky comes to break them up and starts talking about a bond being made against them and how they need to bond themselves to fight back. Remember what I said a minute ago about Ferrari's with squeaky seats? Why would you have Becky repeatedly say a word (bond) when her accent clearly makes it difficult for the audience to understand? Talk about giving somebody just enough rope to hang themselves with. And Charlotte is probably going to turn heel again at Backlash by betraying the other two.

Next we see Tyler Breeze and Fandango backstage, on the hunt for a fashion crime. The Internet seems to be loving this but I honestly thought it was horrible. I like bad jokes. As I said earlier, I'm a dad joke appreciator. But this was shockingly unfunny. It has the hallmarks of Fandango's old skits as Johnny Curtis, which were equally poor. It's a shame because I remember both of these two from their developmental days and both seem like quite talented guys inside the ropes. They're pretty smooth, athletic and they both sell well. The problems seem to start when they open their mouths.

They find The Ascension, a tag team gimmick that was made with someone else in mind and was basically dead on arrival when it first appeared on the main roster. It has now become an unintentionally comedic team, absurd even by WWE standards and so bad they're almost good. Again it seems a shame as both the Ascension guys look like they can move well for big guys and might have some use as singles. Match to come later.

Next up was Rowan vs Harper, a match that had no build and was poorly put together. It was the piss break for this show without question, which is a kick in the nuts for Luke Harper who has displayed some great athleticism for a big guy, though the crowd seemed virtually dead when he came out, which is the worst possible reaction. It's not a surprise to be honest as there is nothing distinct about him. He almost literally looks like he's just wandered in off the streets and has no idea where he is. If we rewind the clock on this blog post for a bit to where I suggested having the Hardys delete/render obsolete certain wrestlers gimmicks, then this would be a prime candidate. Harper needs a shave and something other than being 'that guy who was once in the Wyatt family'. Rowan probably just needs to just be treated as a jobber and not a serious act until his contract runs out because right now he is of zero interest and this is probably him at his peak. Rowan wins because reasons.

After the commercials we're treated to Dolph Ziggler cutting a lifeless, dull promo. I wasn't sure whether I was happy or not about Nakamura interrupting him. This is a feud that exists solely because WWE needs someone for Nakamura to beat at Backlash. In order to build up his debut they need to have him come out a few times so people can here his theme and to do that they need an in-ring talking segment, or several of them. Except Nakamura can't talk so Ziggler has to do most of the work while Nakamura stands their pouting. Ziggler clearly couldn't give less of a shit about this whole angle and the repetitive nature of this segment each week is likely a contributing factor as to why WWE's ratings are the drizzling shits right now. It certainly is the blueprint for it.

So Nakamura comes out and if you listen to die hard fans this guy is some kind of god among men, the greatest thing to happen to wrestling since The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan combined. I personally can't figure out Nakamura as he looks like he's either taking too many drugs or not enough. He walks to the ring like he's having some kind of painful seizure and reminds me of a kid that will act the clown just to draw attention. Some people seem to think this equates to "oozing charisma", to which people I would suggest that they look up the word charisma in the dictionary. And someone take that bloody mouth guard out of his mouth while he's talking.

Allegedly Nakamura is also the greatest in-ring talent since A.J. Styles, so I went off to YouTube to watch the match they had together for starters. That was time wasted I'll never get back. Nakamura has the sort of limited offense that would get him jeered off the stage if he was a hundred pounds heavier and wore jean shorts to the ring. I suspect he could probably do more if he wanted, as a certain cap wearing skittles advert we all know probably could. But he doesn't. I honestly watched Nakamura a couple of times and came away with the impression that I'd rather watch the Bella twins wrestle. Ok, it wasn't quite that bad, but he basically wrestled the sort of match that die hard smart fans love and everyone else either a) laughs at, b) falls asleep during, or c) goes for a piss during.

In his favour he has an absolutely amazing entrance theme, though I suspect it's just a matter of time before people a) get bored of it, aka Fandango and b) regret that it wasn't given to Asuka, who would make much greater use of it and is destined from what I've seen to be a top tier women's talent in WWE one day, the sooner the better judging by the state of the Smackdown women's roster right now.

We get a boring 'will they, won't they' fight tease which predictably ends with Ziggler bailing out, pretty much as you'd expect. They exchange a few shots, but they're never going blow off the angle right there and then on TV so of course it comes to nothing. The worst part is we might have to go through all this again next week, but likely with Ziggler getting the upper hand in order to set up the eventual Nakamura victory at Backlash. It feels like an angle from the 1980s to be honest.

Cut backstage to Sami Zayn trying to be funny with Styles and Orton. Again the Internet seems to be creaming its collective pants about how funny Zayn's antics are (Zayn-ey perhaps?) including comparisons to Woody Allen, which is so far off the mark in terms of the level of humour that you might as well be compare the Big Show to Shaq O'Neal as basketball players because they both happen to be tall. Thankfully the segment ended quickly.

Breezango vs Ascension next, as the WWE learns that Fabreeze is a trademarked name for an air freshener (I'm not joking, it actually is). Breezango win and out come the tag champ Usos to make 12 days worth of gay jokes. How old are the Usos? They sounded about 12. Again I've seen a lot of people talking about how hilarious the Usos were, though even the somewhat muted live crowd didn't seem to be buying it and nor did the viewing audience. If you've spotted the common theme then congrats. If you haven't then let me connect the dots for you; virtually everything that the more die hard fans enjoy the most and rave about on the wrestling forums are the very things that seem to be the weakest links in the show, the stuff that's probably not going to appeal to and connect with a casual audience.

Some stuff happens, Mojo Rawley cuts a bizarre promo backstage with some kids while looking just about as uncomfortable and unnatural as you could possibly be, then the main event starts. Styles, Corbin and Owens all shine, Zayn looks like he ended up there by accident, Orton hasn't evolved in about a decade or more and Mahal is still a jobber but now with bigger muscles. Somehow they end up with Mahal pinning Orton to foreshadow the possibility that Mahal might actually beat Orton at Backlash, though I doubt he will. Surely WWE needs the ratings at home more than it needs the network revenues from India? I'll laugh if Mahal does win though, because at that point WWE will have officially jumped the shark and it'll just be a case of watching the whole thing disappear into a vacuums of its own creation.

On the bright side, that shit is over till next week, which by the time I've finished this will be tomorrow.