Smackdown May 16th

Smackdown show to take us home to Backlash. Surely has to be better than last weeks? Best foot forward and all that.

Kevin Owens highlight reel to start. I'd still like to see Owens begin his promos in French then suddenly stop like he's realised he's making a mistake and mock the crowd for not understanding him. It's a bit cheap using the old evil foreigner gimmick but insulting the fans intelligence is an old trick that never seems to stop working. Owens delivers a solid promo overall and I love his reaction to our first interruption of the night by A.J. Styles. Props to A.J. as he actually cuts a good promo in response. Things are looking good.

But Interruption!! Out comes Jinder Mahal. Christ. He's only been the number one contender for a few weeks and already I'm sick of him. He just lacks the cocky charisma if you want to call it that of someone like Owens. He's just very bland and meh. Owens misses a beat about America sticking its nose in around the world. He kind of had it, but the formation of the sentence wasn't quite right, a bit like my writing. It's not a big deal, it just kind of stuck out in my mind at the time. Jinder proceeds to suck the life out of the crowd and the segment. He needs to lose to Orton and disappear pretty quickly if we're honest. He's in way over his head and it shows.

We get a Jinder/Styles match to start which was ok, nothing special. Lot of leg slapping going on which really annoyed me. And when did superplexes become more common than bodyslams? It seems like every match on WWE TV has to have one now which has made them pointless. If anything, the laborious wait while they get up on the turnbuckles and get themselves set actually makes the spot really annoying. Match ends with a, quote, "title shot to the knee"? What the fuck? Jinder beats Styles to try and get some heat going into Backlash and set up an injury angle for Styles and Owens to work on Sunday, but Jinder is like a fire extinguisher at the minute, smothering anything that might be in danger of catching fire.

More awkward dancing in a promo package from Lana. Is this supposed to be building up her return, watching her dance on a chair? It makes no sense and it's not really hyping her up in the slightest. The whole gimmick has massive flop written all over it. Backstage we get a Breezango sketch next which was actually pretty funny for a change, but it just doesn't fit in well with a wrestling show. While it amused me, it wasn't super funny and it just makes the pair of them look like goofball idiots as opposed to fearsome opponents. They look like jobbers right now and they're acting like jobbers. Being funny is fine in small doses and especially when you have more to back it up, but for these two it's just a minor distraction from their inevitable demise.

Quick walky talky interview with Orton. Actually not bad as he mentions that people don't boo Jinder because he's different, they boo him because he's an ass. It makes a good point, but Orton's delivery is tremendously bland. He really is dull as dishwater right now and his match with Jinder is destined to be a massive snooze fest.

Back from commercials and Breezango vs Colons is already underway. Really? They couldn't even show their entrances etc. Christ. Nothing match really. Lots of quickness as all the guys are talented but there's no real story or heat. It's just filler to get to the finish so Breezango can put another win under their built ahead of the PPV and so the Uso's can come out and talk. Usos actually cut a really good promo, much more serious than last week. They felt like two people who were fired up and ready to kick butt as opposed to a couple of college kids messing about. Breezango stood in the ring again looking scared. They just have the weirdest reaction to someone smack talking them. Not fired up ready to fight, just passive, like they're being bullied. They don't look like fighters. Also, it's odd that the Usos haven't had a match for a while. Could WWE have not have found someone to job for them just to build a bit of interest?

Shane McMahon out next for that classic ratings winner of a segment, the contract signing. Fuuuuck. In fairness Shane does a good job of putting over the women's division and the match at Backlash. Forgettable promos from everyone else devolves into a fight between Carmella and Naomi which becomes a match after the break. Two things that did stand out were that Becky's promos give the hint that she still might turn and join the heels. Just the content of them. It's just a bad enough idea for WWE to actually go with it. Secondly the women's champion Naomi looks like a bit part in all this. She doesn't stand out from the group like Becky and Charlotte did. Can you imagine someone like Austin or Hogan disappearing into the background of a segment like this? Partly it's just a problem that seems fundamental to Naomi, but part of it is WWE booking.

Match is a bit bleh. I hate Naomi's stupid rapid kick spot. It looks terrible and forces the opponent to stand there blocking with their elbows like a complete idiot. It needs to be stopped right away. Someone also needs to get on Naomi and try and get her to extend her dancing gimmick into the match. When she has a moment to breath, such as sending an opponent to the outside this would be a prime chance for her to taunt her opponent and try and generate some interest out of the audience. She just seems to be oblivious to them and makes no connection with the crowd. Sadly Carmella is a light year ahead in talent. She might not be a Bret Hart or a Shawn Michaels but she's much smoother in her movements than much of the women's division and a much, much better seller. The way she sold Naomi's kicks like a million dollars looked great, though the screaming and screeching is a bit off putting. Carmella wins with the distraction roll up win which probably means the faces win by a landslide at Backlash.

Ziggler is backstage and actually cuts a pretty funny promo on Nakamura accompanied by a half decent video package about Ziggler's own accomplishments. Didn't do that much to get me excited about their match though. It just felt like getting in a heel cheap shot and a repeat of the last couple of weeks of talking. The match is basically going to have to stand on the value of Nakamura's entrance and peoples expectations about his performance. Sami Zayn backstage announces he has a match with Baron Corbin at Backlash. Does a decent job putting over Corbin before Corbin attacks him. Zayn I just want to go away at this point but I suspect he'll beat Corbin given the way they've established him as the underdog and let Corbin get all the beatdowns in.

Orton vs Corbin next to end the show and someone really needs to have a word with Corbin about his entrance and how to be more relaxed and natural looking. At this point he kind of seems lost between whether he's supposed to be a heel or a babyface. Just get a producer to sit him down in front of a TV to watch it back and give him some pointers, then take him to the ramp and work something out. The match itself was ok. Corbin's smack talking was funny and I like the way they gradually set up the finish with the whole slide out of the ring, run around and then get back in and attack thing. It told a decent story as Corbin got away with it the first time, got nailed the second, then RKO'd the third. Psychology ladies and gentlemen. Orton sold well and the whole match had the feel of being on the job training for Corbin. It wasn't amazing but I liked it. Orton wins and then Mahal comes out for the heatless beatdown.

Overall the show had its moments but it was a bit of a stinker. Mahal would struggle not to look out of his depth on WWE Main Event, let alone on Smackdown. He's boring and so is Orton, which makes the main match for the upcoming PPV completely pointless as fans don't really give a shit who wins either way. I suspect Orton will retain. There was just nothing on this show which you would really call unmissable. If I wasn't reviewing it I would have turned it off fairly quickly. While the PPV has Styles vs Owens for the US title there really isn't anything else that makes Backlash worth watching and this show did nothing to change that. WWE has only itself to blame for the recent all time low ratings and it doesn't look like it'll get much better anytime soon.

How the fuck did wrestling sink to this level?